Morning Music…
Posted in Morning Music, Music
Jade Bird – Uh Huh
The Golden Cage and the TiVo Life
Posted in Old Man Yelling at the Sky, Work
Right now, I am getting paid to do absolutely nothing.
Seriously. If you walked into my classroom today, you’d find me sitting at my desk, watching TV, messing around with video games, noodling on a bass guitar, and texting friends. Occasionally, I leave the building to go for an hour-long run or a bike ride.
The reason for this sudden, tax-funded retirement preview? I teach high school seniors. They graduated a week ago. Across all eight periods of the school day, my remaining roster totals exactly three students. Two are in one class, one is in another, and both of those periods are completely wrapped up by 10:50 a.m. After that, my classroom is a ghost town, and I am a highly compensated piece of furniture. Heck, most days, two of those three students wander to their girlfriends’ classroom, and I have nobody.
I can’t even pretend to be productive and plan for next year. Thanks to the perpetual bureaucratic mystery of public education, there is a solid 35% chance I’ll get laid off, and zero indication of which classes I’d actually be teaching if I stay. Unit planning is impossible. So, I sit.
Don’t get me wrong – it’s awesome. I will take a free paycheck any day of the week, and I’m not crying into my coffee about it. But even after eight years in a classroom, this forced confinement highlights the one thing about employment I still absolutely loathe: the schedule.
Before I became a teacher, I spent fourteen years running my own law firm. I was the boss, the employee, and the scheduler. If I had court, I would go to court. If I had a client meeting, I would go to the office. But if I had a mountain of police reports, financial records, or audio wiretaps to review? I could do that anywhere. I could sit in a coffee shop, at my desk, or out on the back deck at home. If I wanted to look at discovery from noon to 2:00 p.m., I did. If I wanted to use those hours to go for a long ride or run errands, I did that instead and read the files at midnight.
It was the TiVo life. I could pause the grind, live my life when I wanted to live it, and catch up on the work on my own timeline.
Granted, the TiVo life had its reruns. There were plenty of times it completely stunk – like getting a call on my birthday at 10:00 p.m. and spending until 3:00 a.m. in a bleak police station because a client just got busted, again!. But the flip side was priceless. I was able to pick up my kids from school most days and just sit there watching them play on the playground, completely untethered from a timecard.
Now? I’m trapped by the bell. I have a million things I want to do, but they all have to be crammed into a strict, narrow window between the time I get home and the time I go to bed, or punted to the weekend.
With summer break looming, that craving for autonomy is screaming. I’m counting down the days until I can once again do what I want, when I want, or at least choose the damn order I do them in.
Lately, the daydreaming has taken a specific turn. I find myself thinking about walking away from teaching and dipping my toes back into the legal waters. Nothing crazy. Just taking on a few court-appointed federal criminal cases. Go to court when required, take the massive boxes of FBI or DEA discovery, and review them wherever the hell I feel like sitting. Meet the client on a mutual schedule. Control the time.
The older I get, the more poignant that becomes. The clock is ticking, and I’m literally running out of time.
So as much as I’m enjoying the absurdity of getting a paycheck to watch TV and play video games this week, the novelty wears off fast. I’d rather be traveling. I’d rather be hiking, paddle boarding, or doing something as mundane as cleaning out a junk drawer or organizing a closet at home. I want to get things done on my own terms, rather than just burning daylight in an empty classroom.
Even if the thing I’m getting done is just sipping a hot cup of coffee out in the woods, on my own watch.
The Known Unknowns of an Eleven-Year Itch…
It turns out Donald Rumsfeld was a triathlete. Or at least, he perfectly captured the mental degradation that happens two weeks out from a race.
On paper, I’m fine. The base is there. The logbook shows the yards, the miles, and the hours. But there is a massive difference between having the physical capacity to grind out a finish and remembering how to actually execute a multi-sport race when you haven’t stood on a starting line in eleven years. Eleven. Entire political regimes have risen and fallen since I last transitioned from a wetsuit to a bike.
The panic didn’t creep in; it hit me like a crosswind. I was out in Rockford two weeks ago, grinding through a miserable ride on the actual course, when a stray thought bounced into my brain: Oh, yeah. Hydration and nutrition. How exactly am I handling that again?
That’s the Rumsfeld problem. It’s not the things I know I need to fix. It’s the “known unknowns” – the things I know I’ve forgotten, but can’t quite recall until it’s too late. What else am I missing? Am I going to rack my bike and realize I forgot body glide? Am I going to fumble with my bib number? Is my transition setup going to look like a yard sale?
Some is coming back. This morning, on my bike commute, I thought, “Hey, where am I going to eat the night before the race? And what am I going to eat?” It’s little things like that.
Then there’s the swim. Rockford is a downstream river swim. Mechanically, it should be easy-ish – the current does some of the heavy lifting. But the cold reality is that when I jump into that river on June 14th, it will be my first open-water swim event in eleven years. No practice in the murk. No sighting adjustments. Just straight from the pristine, black-lined bottom of the indoor pool to river water. It’s a hell of a way to get reacquainted with the sport.
If I could rewrite the script, I wouldn’t be doing this. In a logical world, the progression is simple: an Olympic distance to dust off the cobwebs, a 70.3 to test the endurance, and then the big dance at the 140.6 in September. In fact, the training plan explicitly called for an Olympic-distance race right about now, pushing the half-Ironman further down the calendar. But the race schedule gods didn’t consult my training plan. The local calendar didn’t line up, the dates didn’t work, and so here we are. I skipped a step. I’m staring down a 70.3 as a “warm-up.”
It’s stupid, but it’s what I have.
The plan for this weekend is damage control. I’m driving back out to Rockford to ride the course again. No illusions of grandeur, just re-familiarizing myself with the asphalt. Afterward, I’ll throw on the running shoes for a quick one- or two-mile brick run off the bike, mostly just to remind my legs of that specific, awful sensation of turning over after ninety kilometers in the saddle. I’ll practice a transition to run (complete with a fake race bib holder).
At this point, the romanticism of the return is completely gone. I don’t want a poetic breakthrough, and I don’t need a PR. I just want to get this specific weekend over with so I can close the loop on the unknowns and get back to the work I know how to do.
Morning Music
Posted in Morning Music, Music
This Week in Training …Week 15 – Halfway There (Gulp!)…
Halfway there.
That is both encouraging and mildly terrifying.
Overall, it was a decent week. A little unusual because I inverted the schedule. I did the long bike and long run at the beginning of the week and then eased off as the week went on. For Week 16, I’ll go back to a more normal structure.
I have two weeks until the Rockford 70.3. After that, I’m going to try rearranging my training week so that Sunday becomes the rest day, the long bike moves to Friday, and the long run moves to Saturday. I hope that I stop nuking entire weekends with training and can actually do things with the family while everyone else is off work.
Swim 🏊
- Total swims: 3 (FINALLY!)
- Total distance: 7,550 yards
- Total time: 2:24
Nothing spectacular, but solid. A little boring, perhaps, but solid. The biggest victory is simply getting in that third swim. It only took fifteen weeks. I also managed to do one core strength workout. Miracles do happen!
Bike 🚴
- Total rides: 3
- Total distance: 87.5 miles
- Total time: 5:16
The bike week was a little strange.
Monday was the Rockford course ride, which I’ve already written about. Let’s just say I learned some valuable lessons about hydration, sunscreen, and not leaving critical equipment in the car.
I also missed a brick workout during the week, so yesterday I squeezed in a 1:20 ride after the 5K race.
Unfortunately, that ride had to be on the e-bike because my local bike shop seems to have a unique interpretation of the word “appointment.”
I dropped the bike off on Tuesday for my Thursday appointment.
“We’ll call by the end of business Thursday.”
Nope.
Friday?
“We’re backed up.”
Saturday?
Nope.
Sunday?
Nope.
If it’s not done today, I’m picking it up, getting my deposit back, and taking it somewhere else.
Run 🏃
- Total runs: 4
- Total distance: 19.4 miles
- Total time: 3:05
This included:
- A 9-mile-long run
- A 6-mile medium run
- A 5K race
- A 1-mile run off the bike
I felt very strong during the 5K. I wound up finishing 7th in my age group out of 35 runners.
Looking at the results afterward, I realized I probably could have challenged for a podium spot. Unfortunately, I was serving as the designated rabbit for my daughter, who wanted to break 30 minutes. She did.
Mission accomplished.
That meant my first two miles were slower than they otherwise would have been, but I wouldn’t trade that result for a slightly faster finishing time.
Total Training Time 🧮
- Total time: 10:45
A pretty substantial week.
Training Metrics 📈
TrainingPeaks:
- Fitness: 117
- Fatigue: 140
- Form: -5
All good.
Fitness continues to creep upward while fatigue has actually come down significantly from the peak. What really surprised me is how much better I feel physically.
A few weeks ago, I was so sore that rolling over in bed felt like a chore. Now I’m doing nearly twice the training load with maybe half the soreness.
My Garmin metrics reflect that too. Body Battery and Training Readiness have both improved noticeably.
For fun, I went back and looked at Strava Relative Effort. The last time I posted it regularly was around Week 3.
Back then:
- Week 3 RE: 622
This week:
- RE: 1,193
Dayum.
Looking Ahead
Today should be a rest day. It won’t be.
I don’t like starting the week with a rest day because life always seems to intervene later in the week. Last week I missed a brick workout and wound up with a very long Sunday because of it. I’d rather run and swim today so that when the inevitable scheduling disaster arrives later in the week, I’m not scrambling to catch up.
This week I’ll head back to the Rockford course and see whether I’ve fixed some of the issues from the first attempt. As for the 70.3 itself, I’m not planning much of a taper. It’s a training day, not an A-race. The goal is experience, execution, and learning.
All in all, I’m feeling good about the progress.
Halfway there. Only fifteen more weeks to go.
Harvard Classics Reading Log – May Recap…
Posted in Books
May was the first complete month that I’ve owned my Harvard Classics set, and I set a goal of keeping up with the daily readings.
Overall, I’d call it a success.
Out of 31 days, I only missed four readings. Looking at that number, it’s actually more than I thought I’d missed, but I’m still pretty happy with the result. The important thing is that I kept coming back to it day after day.
One of the things I enjoy most about this project is discovering works I didn’t know I’d like. One of the less enjoyable parts is revisiting works I already know I don’t like and discovering that, yes, I still don’t like them.
I’m looking directly at you, Walt Whitman.
I had to read Leaves of Grass in college and absolutely hated it. HATED it. How much do I still hate it? I skipped the May 31 reading entirely because I had no desire to reread even the preface. That’s not exactly the spirit of the project, but life is short.
To be fair, I did enjoy Whitman’s Abraham Lincoln poems from the April readings, especially O Captain! My Captain!, so perhaps there is some Whitman out there for me after all.
The biggest surprise of the month was how often I found myself enjoying works I never would have picked up on my own.
Favorites from May
Calderón’s Life Is a Dream
A philosophical play about a prince imprisoned from birth because of a prophecy that he would become a tyrant. When he is finally released, he must determine whether life is real or merely a dream. Strange, thoughtful, and much more engaging than I expected.
Cellini’s Autobiography
Part memoir, part adventure story, part ego trip. Cellini recounts the dramatic casting of his famous Perseus statue while feuding with nobles, dodging disasters, and generally behaving like the Renaissance’s most entertaining troublemaker.
Sheridan’s The School for Scandal
Probably my favorite reading of the month. A sharp comedy about gossip, reputation, and hypocrisy that still feels surprisingly modern. The famous screen scene—where characters keep hiding behind the same screen while more people enter the room—is straight out of a Marx Brothers movie. It felt like watching the birth of screwball comedy.
Webster’s The Duchess of Malfi
A dark tragedy full of secret marriages, family intrigue, and bad decisions. Everyone is plotting against everyone else, and it doesn’t end well for almost anybody. Grim, but compelling.
Manzoni’s I Promessi Sposi (The Betrothed)
A story of two young lovers trying to marry while powerful people and historical events keep getting in the way. It combines romance, adventure, faith, and social commentary in a way that explains why it’s considered one of Italy’s great novels.
Hood’s Poems
One of the month’s biggest surprises. Poems such as The Bridge of Sighs and The Death-Bed are sad, sometimes heartbreaking, but beautifully written. This is exactly why I don’t skip the poetry readings. Poetry isn’t my favorite genre, but I’ve been pleasantly surprised by how often I’ve found something I genuinely enjoyed.
Shakespeare’s King Lear
No surprise here. I’ve always liked King Lear. The story of an aging king who mistakes flattery for love and sincerity for disrespect remains one of Shakespeare’s most powerful tragedies.
The Thousand and One Nights
Fun, imaginative, and endlessly inventive. Reading these stories reminded me why they’ve endured for centuries. Adventure, magic, humor, and clever storytelling never really go out of style.
The AI Companion
One thing I’ve started doing after each reading is asking AI to summarize and explain it.
Not because I didn’t understand the story, but because it often helps me appreciate why the work matters or how it fits into literary history. The example that stands out most this month was The School for Scandal. I enjoyed the famous screen scene while reading it. Still, I didn’t fully appreciate how influential it was until I learned that it helped establish comic devices that would later become staples of farce and screwball comedy.
The additional context doesn’t replace the reading. It enriches it.
Looking Ahead
I’ve also noticed that some work recurs over multiple days. King Lear first appeared back in April and continued into May. Cellini’s autobiography has shown up more than once as well. That’s one thing I like about the Harvard Classics schedule – it doesn’t always treat great works as something to be checked off in a single sitting.
For anyone interested, the complete list of May readings is posted in the menu section of the site.
I plan to do one of these recap posts at the end of each month. Right now they’re mostly for me – a way to track what I’ve read, what I enjoyed, and what I didn’t. Maybe over time I’ll get better at highlighting favorites as I go.
And who knows?
Maybe someday I’ll even learn to appreciate Walt Whitman.
But let’s not get carried away.
Tags:Harvard Classics
Best Answer…
Posted in Family
Yesterday I posted:
I remember reading parenting books when we had two kids, and I was struggling with work, parenting, and finances. The books basically said, “Yes, it’s hard, but parenting is a wonderful time, and you should enjoy it.” No shit, but HOW!!!!! How do I stop worrying about work, how I’m parenting, our finances!??? That was the last time I read a parenting book.
Before we had kids, we attended a 1st birthday party for our neighbor’s son. At the party, we met a couple who had three kids, all under 6. My wife asked, “Oh my God, how do you do it?”
The husband said, “We drink.”
My wife and I laughed.
The wife said, “No, he’s serious.”
We all laughed, but over the decades, I’ve thought about that, and it was probably the best, most honest answer I’ve heard to the “HOW?” question.