On the Plus…
Posted in Work
One benefit of working here…
I just had a conversation with a student entirely in Spanish. So, there is that.
I Don’t HAVE to Bang My Head Against the Wall….
Posted in Old Man Yelling at the Sky, Work
There’s a special kind of luxury in taking a day off when you actually need it instead of waiting until your body files a formal complaint.
Yesterday was a mental health date, and honestly, I highly recommend dating yourself. I slept like an angel the night before – one of those rare sleeps where you don’t wake up at 3:17 a.m. wondering if you remembered to reply to an email from three weeks ago. I still got up early, because apparently my body now believes 5:30 a.m. is a personality trait, but there was no rush.
Coffee. Quiet. No work bag. No bell schedule.
I did the full Ross Retirement Simulation.
Went for a run. Went for a swim. Read for a while. Watched a genuinely good movie without scrolling my phone every eight minutes. Read some more. Played drums. Made dinner. Watched hockey. It was 100% enjoyment with no productivity guilt attached. Frankly, I was thriving. If I had put on linen pants and started talking about olive oil, I could’ve become one of those people who moves to Italy.
Meanwhile, in my actual life, I had left what I thought was a pretty fun assignment for my law class.
Find two songs that sound alike – sampling, parody, copyright disputes, whatever. We’re doing copyright law, so I figured this was a layup. Listen to music. Your music. Pick songs. We’ll talk about ownership and infringement.
There are 21 kids in the class.
Two did it.
Two.
I literally assigned teenagers to listen to music and somehow that was too much. Not a ten-page paper. Not Bluebook citations. Not “brief Marbury v. Madison.” I asked them to Google songs that sound alike.
They didn’t even care enough to fake it.
That’s the part that gets me. It’s not just that they didn’t do it – it’s the complete indifference. No panic. No excuse. No “I forgot.” Just vibes. It could have been five minutes of work while sitting in the parking lot before school.
Nothing.
And this is where people love to gaslight teachers.
“Well, if they were more engaged…”
“If the lesson was more relevant…”
“If you built stronger relationships…”
Nope.
Respectfully, nope.
I am the same teacher I’ve been my entire career. Same sarcasm. Same energy. Same stupid jokes. Same projects that used to work. Same assignments kids used to actually enjoy. I’ve done mock trials, debates, music law, crime scenes, contract negotiations – real things, fun things, things designed specifically so they don’t feel like school.
This group of seniors just does not care.
Not all of them, obviously. Two of them did the assignment. God bless those two. I may frame their work like it’s the Constitution.
But when the baseline becomes “I don’t care if I fail,” there is no educational strategy powerful enough to compete with that. You can’t out-teach apathy. You can differentiate, scaffold, build relationships, call home, create incentives, stand on your head juggling flaming copies of the Constitution – but if they fundamentally do not care whether they pass or fail, eventually you’re just performing CPR on a mannequin.
So today, after sleeping terribly because apparently peace has an expiration date, I’m back at work. Making playlists for copyright law. Prepping study guides for other classes. Doing the job because that’s what you do.
But if I’m honest, the tank is running low.
People say focus on the ones who care.
I do.
I absolutely do.
But when it’s 2 out of 21, sometimes that math gets a little depressing.
Hater Tuesday … Celebrity Edition
Posted in Hater Tuesday, Old Man Yelling at the Sky
There are a few things that reliably trigger my inner old man. Celebrity culture is near the top of the list.
Nothing makes me roll my eyes faster than a sporting event cutting away from the actual game so the broadcast can show me who is sitting courtside. I do not care that Timothée Chalamet is at the Knicks game. I do not care that Suni Lee is there too. I especially do not care that the announcers are treating this like breaking news. (link)
“Look who’s here tonight!”
Yeah, thanks. I was actually trying to watch basketball.
I can’t stand celebrity treatment at sporting events. I can’t stand the courtside seats, the camera pans, the awkward waving, the constant need to remind us that famous people are in the building. I can’t stand the sideline access, the locker-room access, the handshakes with players, the little manufactured moments so everyone can post them on Instagram later.
It’s the exact opposite of those old US Weekly headlines: “Celebrities, they’re just like us!”
No, they absolutely are not.
They are treated completely differently from the rest of us. They get the best seats, the special entrances, the backstage passes, the private rooms, and the access nobody else gets. Why? Because they act in movies. Or sing songs. Or have enough followers to qualify as “important.”
Meanwhile, the guy who worked a double shift as an ER nurse? Upper deck.
The firefighter who ran into a burning building last week? Watching from home.
The teacher who spent all day trying to convince teenagers that deadlines matter? Illegal stream and a beer.
No surgeon is getting walked courtside because he nailed a triple bypass on Tuesday.
No paramedic is getting shown on the jumbotron while the announcers gush over their outfit.
No soldier is getting front-row playoff seats because they served three deployments.
And before someone says, “Well, celebrities can afford it,” that’s not even the point. I’m not mad they have money. I’m mad we’ve collectively decided fame itself deserves worship.
We built a whole culture around pretending the famous are more interesting, more valuable, and somehow more worthy of attention than everyone else. And sports broadcasts are one of the worst offenders. I tuned in to watch the game, not a live episode of TMZ.
I know this makes me sound like a grumpy old man yelling at clouds, and honestly, fair enough. Put it on my tombstone.
Here lies Ross.
He hated celebrity culture.
And he really didn’t care who was sitting courtside.
Still true.
There Ought to Be a Law
Posted in Old Man Yelling at the Sky
There should be a law that no online business can send you an email or text that they’ve shipped your order unless it’s actually in transit. None of this “label created” bullshit.
The Great MCLE Shakedown: Checking Boxes and Writing Checks….
Posted in Old Man Yelling at the Sky
There is a specific brand of bureaucratic theater that exists solely to make people feel “protected” while doing absolutely nothing of the sort. In the legal world, we call this Mandatory Continuing Legal Education (MCLE).
I’ve kept my law license active. I don’t practice anymore, but I still read SCOTUS opinions for breakfast and keep tabs on Illinois appellate rulings because, frankly, I care about the law. Yet, the State of Illinois still demands I sit through 30 hours of “education” to prove I’m a fit member of the Bar.
The Grift of the Seminar
Let’s be honest about who this actually benefits:
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Professional Development Companies: The ones charging $500 for a “Comprehensive Guide to [Insert Niche Topic Here]” that you’ll forget by the time you reach the parking lot.
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Legal Organizations: They get a captive audience and a steady stream of registration fees to keep their lights on.
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Bureaucrats: They get to point at a spreadsheet and say, “Look! Our lawyers are 100% compliant and therefore 100% competent!”
Performative Competence
The absurdity lies in the lack of relevance. Illinois doesn’t care if I spend 15 hours studying the granular details of bankruptcy law – an area I have never touched and would rather eat glass than practice. They don’t care if I sleep through 30 hours or play games on my phone. As long as I have the certificate and the “Ethics” box is checked, the state is satisfied.
It’s the exact type of regulation I detest: it feels virtuous. It sounds great in a press release: “We require our lawyers to stay current!” But it’s a mile wide and an inch deep.
The Two Types of Lawyers
The irony is that MCLE doesn’t change behavior.
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The Diligent: The lawyers who actually care about their clients and their craft are already reading the law, staying organized, and attending meaningful sessions because they want to be good at their jobs.
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The Slackers: The ones who don’t care will either find the ultimate “blow-off” PDs – where they can answer emails in the back of the room – or they’ll simply lie on the self-reporting forms.
The “College Level” Loophole
Just so we’re clear: this isn’t a “woe is me” post about finding the time. Since I teach law at the college level, I can sleepwalk my way into those 30 hours through teaching credits. It’s not that the requirement is hard to meet; it’s that it’s stupid.
It is a performance without a purpose, a tax on time and money that serves the system rather than the law. But hey, at least the certificate looks nice in the recycling bin.
Morning Music…
Posted in Morning Music, Music